{"id":9812,"date":"2025-02-23T04:27:42","date_gmt":"2025-02-22T23:27:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tinasprinkle.com\/?p=9812"},"modified":"2025-02-23T04:27:42","modified_gmt":"2025-02-22T23:27:42","slug":"eo-ramey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tinasprinkle.com\/staging\/eo-ramey\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy Birthday EO Ramey"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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I\u2019ve been thinking about my dad a lot\u2014not just because today would have been his 100th birthday, but because he lived with integrity, honor, and compassion. <\/strong><\/p>

He\u2019d be horrified by this administration and the man masquerading as president. Trump and his enablers are waging war on the most vulnerable, dismantling the democracy my father and so many others fought to protect. It would sicken him\u2014and for that, I\u2019m grateful he\u2019s not here to witness it.<\/p>

While Trump distanced himself from Project 2025 during his campaign, his administration has wasted no time implementing its recommendations. In just a few weeks, they have eliminated diversity initiatives, frozen federal funding, withdrawn from the Paris Climate Agreement, and laid off thousands of government workers\u2014including over 1,000 staff members at the Department of Veterans Affairs.<\/p>

We\u2019re told these cuts are about eliminating \u201cwaste and fraud.\u201d But who decides what qualifies? The White House\u2019s Department of Government Efficiency\u2014run by an unelected billionaire and crony handpicked by the president?<\/p>

Are these actions even legal? <\/strong><\/p>

Who authorized the DOGE to access the Treasury Department\u2019s payment system, which holds personal data on nearly every American? Musk and his allies are gutting agencies before the courts can even rule.<\/p>

Trump insists voters gave him a sweeping mandate to bypass the rule of law, seize unchecked power, and fill the government with oligarchs. But there was no mandate. He won with less than 50% of the vote\u2014meaning most Americans rejected him.<\/p>

Yet we are witnessing a full-scale coup against democracy and the Constitution. Trump has shattered the system of checks and balances, seized congressional powers, and secured a free pass from the Supreme Court. He will bully, defy the law, and lie to get what he wants.<\/p>

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Donald Trump is a narcissist who thinks he\u2019s the king of America. He is the ultimate example of vain entitlement and irresponsibility. He embodies everything we disdain in the old white male archetype.<\/p>

Yet my father, an old white man himself, exemplified a different legacy. He earned his education on the GI Bill, became a compassionate doctor dedicated to women’s health, and raised a family of adopted children. He loved his wife for over fifty years, served as a scout leader and church deacon, and was a cherished friend to many.<\/p>

The difference between my father and the president? Ehret Oscar Ramey embodied qualities that Donald Trump simply lacks: courage, empathy, and intelligence.<\/strong><\/p>

In honor of his turning 100 today, I am restacking a previous entry about my dad.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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the case for daddy's girls<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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I got lucky\u2014the universe paired me with Ehret Oscar Ramey as my counselor, teacher, mentor, protector, and friend. He was my adopted father, but in every way that mattered, he was simply Dad.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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As a child, he had curly hair and grew up in a lower-income family that moved frequently, making him a target for teasing and bullying. He learned to fight at an early age, which, knowing him as I do, must have been difficult. His nature was inherently gentle.<\/p>

But maybe those fights helped shape him\u2014taught him who he was and who he wasn\u2019t\u2014because he never sought out conflict, but he never backed down from defending what he believed was right.<\/p>

And when it came to me, what he believed was right usually was.<\/strong><\/p>

I wasn\u2019t an easy kid. As his only daughter, I know he worried and, at times, was disappointed by my choices. But he never judged me. He never ignored me. He never made me feel ashamed or unworthy. No matter what, he was always there when I finally came home\u2014offering whatever I needed. A kiss on my forehead. A long, steady embrace. Words of love. Or no words at all.<\/p>

My dad was my champion, and I always knew it. That kind of love changes a person.<\/strong><\/p>

As a kid, I had a habit of running away\u2014not out of fear, but to assert my autonomy and independence. Once, I \u201cran away\u201d to a Young Life skating party. When my dad picked me up and discovered his 12-year-old daughter was drunk, he didn\u2019t yell or punish me. Instead, he took me to the hospital where he worked, cleaned me up in the doctors\u2019 lounge, and bought me a toothbrush.<\/p>

\u201cYou\u2019d better brush your teeth, stay away from alcohol, and, for God\u2019s sake, don\u2019t tell your mother,\u201d <\/em>he said.<\/p>

There were a few things we agreed not to tell Mom.<\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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He met my mother, a diminutive 89-pound southern beauty at Barnes Hospital. Ruth Wylodene Sturdivant worked as a dietitian and he was in his residency.<\/p>

My parents were married for over 60 years\u2014something I both admire and find astonishing. My father chose a difficult woman to love, and I often wondered how he not only stayed with her but adored her so completely.<\/p>

To me, my mother was impossible. To him, she was simply her. <\/strong><\/p>

He never wavered, never seemed concerned. Looking back, his love for her became something of a wellspring for me\u2014an example I return to when I\u2019m feeling empty myself.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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After my parents married, they moved to Kansas City to establish his medical practice and start their family. He became a beloved OB\/GYN but multiple miscarriages derailed their plans for children.<\/p>

That\u2019s how my brothers and I became a family. It wasn\u2019t an easy configuration. <\/strong><\/p>

With Dad at the hospital and Mom left to mind us, we fell into the chasm between our parents. He was a stabilizing if often absent force; she was minimally present, chronically overwhelmed, and woefully ill-equipped for child-rearing.<\/p>

It was often confusing and lonely.<\/strong><\/p>

But Dad was a gentle soul. As a parent, he always treated us with respect\u2014even when we were clearly out of line. I can only remember two times he ever truly lost his temper, and both were because my older brother or I had spoken disrespectfully to our mother.<\/p>

I never saw the slap coming. The sting wasn\u2019t just on my face\u2014it was in my heart. There was no lower place to fall than the one called disappointing my father.<\/p>

I burst into tears, and he immediately pulled me into his arms. That only made it worse. <\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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I thought my dad was handsome and respected his accomplishments. He was a man of service and integrity\u2014a teacher, a physician, a friend, and a caretaker to all.<\/p>

He loved to sing, to dance, and to tell terrible jokes. He\u2019d get so tickled telling them that, despite dreading the punchline, you couldn\u2019t help but laugh along with him.<\/p>

In retirement, he spent hours in his woodshop, making things with his hands\u2014until his stroke took that from him.<\/p>

After the stroke, it was my turn to give back to him, and though I wanted to, it wasn\u2019t easy. I used to call him \u201cDr. Magoo\u201d when I was frustrated.<\/strong><\/p>

Once, I took him to the movies. At the concession stand, he tried to order a Coke but couldn\u2019t get the words out. He gripped the display cup with all his strength, mumbling in frustration. I knew what he was trying to say and gently pried the cup from his hands as the cashier\u2014who was a jerk\u2014just stared at us.<\/p>

I wanted to shout, \u201cYou don\u2019t know this man! You don\u2019t know how brilliant, kind, and loving he is! You don\u2019t know how many lives he\u2019s touched\u2014how many lives he\u2019s brought into this world!\u201d<\/em><\/p>

But we took our seats and watched the movie. And when my dad laughed it made everything better.<\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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The week of his death, he labors at the breakfast table, so winded from congestive heart failure he can barely breathe.<\/p>

Between arduous bites of Honey Nut Cheerios, he smiles, reaching for my hand, \u201cSo what are we going to do today?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>

My heart and eyes sting because there is nothing we can do today, except wait.<\/p>

\u201cI think we\u2019ll just hang out here, Dad,\u201d I answer. He pats my hand.<\/p>

My father died four days later.<\/strong><\/p>

For many years, I wondered about my birth parents \u2013 why they gave me up and who they were. I was sixty before I received that blessing in the form of discovering my half-siblings. We share a father whom I finally met via Zoom.<\/p>

It was good to discover him because he is not my father. He\u2019s just someone who got my birth mother pregnant.<\/strong><\/p>

My father, Ehret Oscar Ramey, was a gentleman who loved with great depth. I am so grateful for that fateful connection, my lucky destiny.<\/p>

What a gift to be a Daddy\u2019s girl\u2014to know, without question, what it means to be loved deeply and completely by a kind and caring man.<\/p>

Happy 100th birthday, Dad. Thank you. I sure miss you. <\/strong><\/p>

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I\u2019ve been thinking about my dad a lot\u2014not just because today would have been his 100th birthday, but because he lived with integrity, honor, and compassion. He\u2019d be horrified by this administration and the man masquerading as president. Trump and his enablers are waging war on the most vulnerable, dismantling the democracy my father and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9814,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9812","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reflections"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tinasprinkle.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9812","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tinasprinkle.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tinasprinkle.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tinasprinkle.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tinasprinkle.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9812"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/tinasprinkle.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9812\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tinasprinkle.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9814"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tinasprinkle.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9812"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tinasprinkle.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9812"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tinasprinkle.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9812"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}